Dear Mum, There isn't a day that goes by that your not missed. But mum I have to say things have changed for the better. I reach out, and not turned away. I am not sure if I been forgiven. But that will come in time. Yes I was angry that your not here. But mum, I understand that you did the best for all of us. Sadly my temper got in the way. I was hurting, but I think now I am at peace. Things had to change. I didn't realise that I was hurting still. You know me that I Dont let my feelings out till I burst. That's got to stop now. I got to be the old Jason and make everyone proud of me. I chose a different road and following it. Today I went to church again for Thanks and forgiveness. I have to say that this has taught me new things and things I still learning. At the end of the day I am hoping things will be more positive now. Britterness is never good all it does is cause pain.