Good Morning Mum. I have some sad news to report to you today. The wheel chair which we got you, Matthew wants me to sale it. I am so angry with Matt. I had enough of the pain and really cannot see the light without you. I love you so much. I never forget you. The pain is really bad. I sadly can not cope with out you. I feel so sad. I feel that i am the only one keeping youe memories a live. Yesterday i had Hospital for my operation. I am so sad and cannot seem to pull myself together. Mum why did you have to leave us. I hate the fact that you gone. I so wish it was not you that went. I am broken and cannot cope without you. I miss you so much. I am so sad. I feel that live will never be the same. You died and never saw your grand son grow up. It affects me so much. I hate the fact this happen. Live is so hard to carry on. I hate that you left us. I know you in a lot of pain. Your body gave up and I couldnt do anything to save you. I am so sorry I couldnt save you. Mum the church people havetaken dad and that all he cares about. I cannot even go into the house any more. Its not my place to entre anymore. I am so sorry I let you down. I miss you so much. I just wish that i could turn back and do more. I wish i could have saved you. I need saving now mum and i have no one to save me. I just wish there was someone who could take my pain and touch and cuddle me. Mum its so sad that your gone. I love you so much. I feel that Matt and T are glad that your gone. They got there wish and i hate it. I just wish i could do something to take the pain. I feel like driving away and jumping in the sea. There no way of saving me now. I wish i could just gone with you. I hate that I got no one in the world now. I give up. I am thinking ending the pain. I was going to do it today. I chicken out. But i am going to be doing it soon.